For instance, the person could just have a flirtatious personality, but they could be in a relationship or in another situation that would prevent them from dating you. Ask them open-ended questions like, “What do you do for fun?” and “What kind of music do you listen to?” That way, you can find out if you have anything in common. If you’re already close with the person, there’s no need to put off the conversation.
A text message can help take the pressure off the other person, too. With a text, they won’t feel pressured to answer immediately, like they would in a verbal conversation. Remember, when you’re texting, it’s a lot harder for the other person to judge how you’re really feeling. They can’t see you or hear the tone of your voice. [3] X Research source Use clear, specific language, or even throw in some emojis to help you express yourself better.
If they can talk, try saying something like, “I wanted to talk to you because I’ve been getting the feeling that you have deeper feelings for me. I like you, so I thought I would just call and ask. ” A phone call is also a good alternative if meeting in person isn’t possible or safe—for instance, because of social distancing due to the coronavirus outbreak.
Agree with them ahead of time about what video chat app you’re going to use, so there’s no confusion. For example, you might say, “Hey, are you up for a Google Duo chat this afternoon?” Since the other person will be able to see you, boost your confidence by dressing nicely, styling your hair, and tidying up the space that will be on camera. When you’re talking to the person, be conscious of your body language. Smile and make eye contact, and avoid fiddling with your phone or other distractions while you chat. Pretend they’re in the room with you!
Try saying something like, “Hey, Rasheed, we’ve known each other for a while, and I really enjoy talking to you and being around you. I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend, and I was wondering if you feel the same way. ” Whatever they say, be kind and respect their answer. For example, if they say they’re not into you romantically, say something like, “I understand. I hope we can continue to be friends and hang out, because I really enjoy your company!”
If you normally wear makeup, you may want to apply a little, but try to keep your look natural so the other person’s focus will be on you, and not how you look. Making an effort to look good doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re trying to impress the other person. It just means you’re trying to feel your very best.
If you’re not sure, try opening the conversation with a simple question like, “Hey, how’s your day going?” Then, use their response to gauge how they’re feeling. Before having any difficult conversation, it’s a good idea to set a time that works for both of you. [7] X Research source For example, you could say, “Hey, are you free to have a quick chat this afternoon?”
It may also help if you remind yourself why it’s important to have the conversation. For instance, you might tell yourself something like, “I don’t want to lead Brad on. If he likes me, I’d rather know so I can let him down gently. ”
Try saying something like, “Hey, can you walk over to the drink machine with me for a minute?” or “Do you have a free minute so we can talk?” If you don’t see the person regularly throughout your day, ask them to meet you somewhere you’ll both be comfortable, like a coffee shop or a park. Just in case things don’t go smoothly, you may want to avoid having the conversation when you’re both somewhere you can’t leave, like in the car together on a long drive.
For instance, you might say, “I really like spending time around you, and I’d like to get to know you better,” or “You’re one of my closest friends, and I don’t want anything to change that. ”
You might say something like, “I just wanted to know if you like me as more than a friend,” for example. If you tell someone that you aren’t into them, they may tell you they only like you as a friend too, even if they have deeper feelings than that. Don’t feel like you have to push them too hard to confess their “true” feelings if they’re not comfortable with that.
It’s normal to feel sad or upset about being rejected by someone you like. If you didn’t get the answer you hoped for, let yourself feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it. [11] X Research source If you like the person and they don’t like you back in the same way, take a little time to think about whether you can be friends with them. If it’s the other way around, be honest but kind. For example, let them know you’ll give them a little space if they need it, but that you still care for them as a friend (as long as that’s the case).
The only way to be sure about how someone feels is just to ask them. For instance, one person might make eye contact with you because they see you as a close friend, while another person who has a big crush on you might avoid eye contact because they’re very shy. [13] X Research source
For instance, you might touch your hair or your face, or you could cross your arms or legs, then uncross them. If the person mimics those movements after a minute or two, they’re mirroring you.
Keep in mind that a person’s posture can have to do with a lot of different factors, including how they’re feeling physically and the overall mood they’re in that day.
Some people are just affectionate with everyone, so if you’re not sure, just ask!
